These are some pics that sums up 2011. Last day to camwhore in year 2011 :')
2011's coming to an end in a couple of hours. That's why i'm here to blog. 2011 was a really tough year, really glad that i pulled through it, and i really do hope 2012 will be much much better. Though 2011 wasn't the best years of my life, and also it was especially one of the toughest years in my life, i would still like to thank god for it. As there were many lessons learnt, and also it has made me to be a stronger person, and also develop better values in life. I thank god for every good & bad things that has happened in 2011. As the saying goes, " what doesn't kill you makes you stronger " yeah, it's really true. Now i'm a much much stronger girl. I would really like to thank those people who helped me through, supported me, encouraged me & etc. Without them & not to forget GOD, i would have never made it through year 2011. And i've forgiven each & everyone of you that has hurt me, i've learnt to trust the right people, i've learnt that promises will be broken, & i shouldn't get my hopes so high, and i shouldn't let words bring me down, not only these lessons, but a whole lot more. 2011 had it's smiles & tears, lots of tears actually, but what matters the most is, i made it through. And i was always taught to count my blessings. Therefore, 2011 was tough but great. 2012 is so near. Whatever that happens in 2011, stays in 2011, time to move on and look forward to a new start. Have a Happy New Year, full of hope, joy, happiness, success and dreams that are fulfilled. Cheers.

Merry Christmas, everyone :)

Christmas is not about the gifts, lights, foods, snow and Santa. It's about the birth of our Savior. It's CHRISTmas! Jesus Christ was born on Christmas Day but everyone only remembers the fat red butt Santa laughing hohoho instead of Him whom gave joy and peace to the world by His birth. Santa, please remember that it is because of Jesus that you exist. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS, everyone. May this Christmas turn out to be better than you expected. Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart that thinks of others first. Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts, but doing a little something extra for someone. Go out & spread the joy :)

Before leaving for Sg

Hey bloggers, hahah yes i'm a more frequent blogger now, as it's my break & i'm kinda free, so yeah. Hmm, what shall i say? Oh yeah, thought about it. I'm leaving for Malacca tmrw, and meeting my cousin there & we'll take train to Singapore, , premier night deluxe ticket for the train. I wonder what for, as we'll only be in there for 6 hours, but anyway i should be thankful, really cause i have my private toilet with e showers & etc, and not to forget, 2 beds. HAHAHA. I'm feeling really neutral tho. All i wanna do in Sg is go shopping, buy my all time fav ice cream with bread frm Orchard Road, yummy <3 and also go to Universal Studios, not to forget, visit my relatives. I've already packed, my luggage's 9kg, and it's a hand carry luggage, oh well :/ Stupid burberry bag. Mmm, what more? Oh, my backpack, which is 4 kg, hahaha, laptop & camera. Okay i'm really gonna die ): Oh well. I hope i survive :P Jk, i know i will :P I'm good to go, all i need is a good night's rest tonight, as my eyes hurts real bad, idk why, but yeah. HAHAH, so yeah, toddles :) I'll be back.

Genting

So, I went to Genting on Monday with my cousins. The night before, we couldn't help it, but stay up the whole night, talking about what we're gonna do the next day in Genting. We laid on the bed & just talk to each other till it was 4 ish in the am. We got bored, so we decided to go downstairs, and so we did. We then went down & cleaned the house, mopping, etc. Yes, we're that bored. HAHAH, after we finished cleaning the house, it was only 6 ish, therefore my cousins decided to sleep, i tried to sleep, but then i failed. So i just laid awake till 7 ish, and then decided to go take a shower. After that i woke both my cousins up. After we were all done, by 9 ish, we had breakfast. Then we came home & waited for my uncle & his two daughters to get ready, by 11 ish we were good to go. And so we left, we reached Genting at aroundd 12 ish. It was really freezing cold, i swear. And you can get blown away by the wind :/ My cousins were hungry so we went to McD's. And then right after that, headed to the ticketing counter to buy our themepark tickets. Yes, it sure did burn a hole in our pocket. 300+ bucks for the tickets, wow. HAHAH. And then we started off by playing ' Pirate Ship ', thank god the que wasn't really long. We waited for only about 10 mins. Then we went to play ' Corkscrew ' hahah, well it wasnt my first time on it, so yeah wasn't nervous. When i went on it, i was laughing & at the same time shouting. Really had fun, but my hair was really messed up -.- And then we went to try out ' Space Shot ', my cousin & i. It was our first time on it, so we were really scared at first. It was like as if, i jumped out of my seat when the whole thing came down. HAHAHA, really scary but it was fun. After that, we headed to try out ' Spinner ' well it was pure stupidness, wasn't scary at all. I was talking & laughing with my cousin the whole way & could even text. That's how unscary it is. And after that, we went for the 4-D thingy, was okay, as i saw it before, then we came back to the themepark for ' Pirate Ship ' again. And after that, we headed to cotton on, to get my flats, as the accessory thingy on my shoe came off, i'm that cool 8D HAHAH. Then we went to the photobooth machine & took pics. And headed back to KL. That's about it. And yes, i want to go there again to relive the moments :) Really had a great day, though we all go sick after that frm screaming too much, not drinking water & it was just too cold. HAHHA.

Christmas

I'm so in to the Christmas mood already. Christmas trees put up & now i'm blasting christmas songs already. And i also started planning what to get for my friends & etc. Well, something just hit me. It's that, while i'm getting ready planning what to get for my friends & etc, have i ever thought of the kids in the orphanage? They are kids too, and they have their own wants too, like every other kid. But will they ever get them? Well, few years back, as a kid, i remember walking pass malls with these booths put up by some Children Foundation, to make these little adorable kids's wish come true. It kills me right to the core when i can't do much right now, since i'm a kid. I guess i should really go to these booths again, and jot down some of these kids wants & fulfill them. Because i really know how it feels, to wish for something hoping it'll happen, but it'll never come true. I know how much it hurts. Therefore i want these kids to know that " hey, this is a really beautiful world, you are not alone, and there's alot of people out there wanting to help you, and no, not everyone will let you down " By doing that, i reckon they'll surely be overjoyed. WE CAN ALL MAKE A CHANGE IN THESE LITTLE KIDS LIFE, THEREFORE DO SOMETHING FOR THEM TODAY, THIS CHRISTMAS, MAKE THEM FEEL LOVED.

Holidays are here.

And so, the time of the year i've always been waiting for. End year break :) HAHAHA, yeah it officially started this week. Well, so far so good. Haven't been going out much, YET, but it was really nice having my cousin sis over & then going over to my grandma's and helping her out with the house chores & prepare to welcome our new member to the family, my little cousin bro. Can't wait for him to be borned. Hahaha, so as my cousin sis came over, as always we'll take tons of pictures, that's what girls do best, isn't it? Hahaha, so basically why i'm blogging at this hour, 1.10 am is because i'm really bored & i'm still not sleepy yet. I have been sleeping at 4ish in the morning, everyday eversince the holidays started, even the self declared ones :P Hahaha, and i have these really huge eye bags now, oh well. And oh, it's gonna be a long day for me tmrw, replacement class at 10.30 am, then hopefully i'll go over to my grandma's to meet my cousin then we shall go catch a movie & then i have to be back by 8 & head for my jamming session with my band. HAHAHA, that's about it for tmrw. Okay, i've nothing much to blog about now, but only pictures to post. So yeah. Toddles.

Letting go.

Jesus instructs us to forgive our enemies and those who have hurt us. Forgiveness and letting go can lead you down the path of healing and peace. Letting go can mean forgiving; letting go of harsh words said to us and hurt feelings, letting wounds close and choosing peace; letting go of the need to be right and choosing happiness instead. Forgiveness is the key to letting go. Forgiveness isnt about releasing him or her, its about releasing you! Happiness is always possible, but we have to be willing and open to receive it--and sometimes that means letting go of what we're holding onto. It sucks to know that you need to let go but you can't because you're waiting for the impossible to happen. Before you let go of something dear to your heart, try imagining life without it. Then decide whether or not it's worth holding on or letting go. Moving on in life is never easy when you find it hard to let go of what youre leaving behind, when there remains in your heart a small flicker of the fire that once burned so intensely with love and passion but move on. Renew, release, let go. Yesterdays gone. Theres nothing you can do to bring it back. You cant shouldve done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day! Forgiving someone does not mean denying a person's responsibility for hurting you, nor does it mean minimizing, or justifying the act. It does mean willing to forgive someone without condoning or excusing what they did, and then letting it go. It may be hard, but it's never impossible.

Hey bloggers. Sorry for not blogging for quite some time. Was really busy with my finals & etc. But hey i'm back. HAHAH. Well, my finals are over. And my usual long school break's starting soon. So yeah i have more time to blog. My aunt from Canada's back, had a great time with her in Penang. She'll be coming down to KL, for a few days then she'll be flying back to Canada. She kept reminding me about my grandma. Yeah just by looking back at those good old days with my grandma, will bring me tears, because i know i can't be with her anymore, she's gone for 5 years already, 6 years soon this coming 19 June. But i really do treasure all those time we spent together & it will remain in my heart forever. I used to be her baby princess, where she used to protect me, love me, care for me & etc. She was really someone i looked up to. And well, yeah i was just her princess. There's nobody who can replace her, she's just heavenly like that. I'll always remember what she told me " Never settle for less than you deserve, cause you're my princess & you deserve the best. Find someone who can treat you as good as how i treat you or even better ". I miss being her lil baby princess. Well but no matter what i do i can never bring her back. It really sucks aye?

Well, and my dear sister HAS left. There's nothing i could do no more, but accept it. I've learned that no matter how much i grief the world doesn't stop for my grief. But right now, i've just gotta spill out my feelings here right now, cause at the moment, it's too much for me to handle. Well, it just hit me, like who's gonna be the one to go silly with me & we could laugh all day over the littlest thing ever. Who will be the one who cuddles me, wipes away my tears when i cry? Who's gonna be there for me no matter what & loves me for who i am? Who'll be the one who whacks me for fun? Whos' gonna be the one that laughs at my lamest jokes? Who's gonna make me laugh, tickle me, when i'm really down or stressed? Hmmm, no one, but only you. But as you said, i can't depend on you forever, and i gotta be strong & keep charging. I can promise you that i will, but not at the moment. I kinda feel bad for not being at the airport to send you off to States the other day, but on the other hand i'm happy cause i know i made you proud, & i kept my promise. As i promised you, i'll be a good girl, go to school, study hard, make you proud. I did it. :) Thankyou for being there when i needed you the most. Thankyou for helping me to go through all those tough times in life. Thankyou for always being able to make me laugh like as if i have no problems, etc. Everything & anything for you. You know that you can lean on me. I'll forever be by your side. You'll always be my dear sis & i'll always be your lil baby sis :) As your baby sis, i know i can't do much. But do know no matter how far you are, or i am, you can count on me. Ring me up, Facebook message me, text me to go on skype. I'll be there anytime. Last but not least, PLEASE PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. All the best in everything you do. Don't let your circumstances, problems, etc affect you alright. Be good, stay safe, party hard, study smart. I love you ♥

It's almost the end of August. And what's next? Another month. I hope it'll be a good month. PLEASE BE. Well, August wasn't an easy month for me. Tell me, who loves goodbyes? I'm pretty sure, no one right? But hey, this month I had to bid goodbye to 3 important people in my life which is my dear sis @Afina, my close best friend @William & dear brother @David. These 3 people are people who mean the world to me. They're really impacted me. I've known them since forever. And this month, they're leaving M'sia. Afina's flying back to States to continue studying after her summer break. And she won't be back for 2 years. Yeah, you may say 2 year's pretty short, and time flies really quick, but well, it isn't. Oh well, what can i do about it? I can't do anything, but live with it. Anyways, i'll miss you jie ): Be good. I love you! :) Moving on to William, he already flew back to Laos, & i really wanna thank you for always being there to hear me out of my problems, give me advices, and always backing me up no matter what. I really do appreciate you. HAHA. I'm pretty sure i'll miss your lame jokes. Thank god for social networks these day, it'll be easier for us to keep in touch & contact each other :) But one thing for sure, i'll miss your presence here. Tell me, who wont? Your lame jokes are contagious. Lmao. Make sure you come back in December! :D Last but not least, the rockstar David. I'm really proud to see you succeed in life at such a young age & becoming who you are today. And now you're leaving to US to study, I wish you all the best. Btw, CONGRATS ON YOUR ACCEPTANCE TO BERKLEE UNIVERSITY. I know you can do it, continue making us proud of you. We've grown up together & you've really been a blessing to me, and surely many others. And that's what makes it harder for me to say goodbye to you ): No matter what, you know i'll miss you. Take care. ♥

P/s ; I don't know how to say goodbye to you. I'm not good at things I don't want to do.

Well, i use to love memories alot, especially when the person who were in my memories are still here with me. But right now, i pretty much hate memories, because it kills me to see & know that the people who were in my memories are now gone. I repeat, GONE. There's nothing i can do no more. Let's take my grandma for example, she's gone. She's in heaven. All that's left are memories. And no matter what i do, i can no longer bring her back. I'll just let these memories not only with my grandma, but people too kill me deep inside. Kay bye.

What's left of us, in me

So here we are, after all this time.

I’m lost, empty and scared.

Everything was easier when i was with you, but now, now everything is different, everything is changing.

We’re still friends, but it’s not the same.

You don’t care about me like before.

I thought our love was different, i thought it was one of a kind, i guess i was wrong.

Being without you it’s useless.

I don’t cry about it, not anymore, but i still think about it. I still think about you, love.

We might have lied, we might have hidden things, but our love was real, as real as it gets.

It got into peoples skin, our love touched everyone beside us.

Smiling was different, laughing was different, living was different.

This is me, one year older, a little stronger, a little braver, a little less naive.

This is me telling everyone, the one thing i want the world to know.

I miss you.

And sometimes; i need you.

But I’m stronger now, i can manage to go a week without talking to you.

I can handle living without you.

But i'd rather be empty, than full of fakeness.

I’m starting to wonder who i can really trust.

Everyone has dirty little secrets, everyone lies, everyone is fake, everyone is mean.

I’m sick, sick of everything, sick of people preteding to be your friends and just leaving you when you need them the most.

I’m sick of people complaining,when it’s THEIR fault.

I’m not saying i’m perfect, but i am honest.

When i say something, i mean it; and right now i’m sick.

I’m tired of everyone being fake to the bone.

No one is true to theirself, i don’t know why, i can’t understand it.

Who can you trust?

I’m finding myself lost, lonely and desperate.

I’m fighting with everyone, i’m empty.

But i rather be empty, than be full of fakeness.

You were the king of my castle

I’m mad, so mad.

I always thought everyone would dissapoint me sooner or later, everyone but you, that is.

You were always the one who i loved the most, and you knew it.

You took advantage of it, i used to live in this castle, and you were in it, you had every single key, you were the king to my castle, but you didn’t care.

You knew i could never kick you out of my castle, you knew i loved you too much.

But i’m putting an end to your tyranny, i have to.

I can’t live like this anymore, i used to accept everything, just because it was you.

I was used to it, i was used to being used, being stepped on.

until one day someone told me to stand up to whoever was using me, to confront whoever was being a bad friend, that someone was you, king.

I’m afraid because i need you, but i know i can’t live like this much longer.

I have to make you realize, friendships are work.

I’m doing this for YOU, someone needs to open your eyes, someone needs to make you understand.

I just hope you will.

It was nice , but it wasnt gonna last forever

I knew it was going to end, but i kept hoping.

Everything ends, sooner or later, i was ready; i was ready for a heartbreak,at least i thought i was.

‘this is nice, but it isn’t going to last forever’ that’s what i kept telling myself, that’s what i thought.

But I’m starting to realize ‘this’ might never end.

We might be with other people, we might think we don’t love eachother, but ‘this’, ‘this’ is not going away.

‘this’ is not dissapearing; you might not think about it, you might forget about it, but ‘this’ will always be a part of you, this will always live in your heart.

So here i am, back to the roots of this jurney.

I want to forget, i try to forget, but i will never forget.

It’s a vicious circle, and I can’t get enough of it, because, this is what’s really left of me and you.

I need you now

Like the old days, we are back to the old days.

You never fail to dissapoint, at some point, between the madness, and our careless ways we found our way back.

I was afraid, so afraid.

Now i can’t help but smile, everything is back, the world is back in order.

But is this healty? Is our friendship healty?

We destroy eachother, we don’t have half ways; and i can’t help but wonder how long will it take for us, to autocombust.

I’m afraid. I feel like a little kid when he is on his first rollercoster, scared, exited, confused, happy.

I’m filled with emotions.

Forget rationality, forget the mind, I’m going all in.

And even thought I might get our of this rollercoster, destroyed, i know it’s worth it.

You hurt other people, but i know you wouldn’t do that to me.

You loved me the most.

But can time, destroy something so special?

Can time actually destroy love?